Wrestling with God about family

Have any of you found yourselves wrestling with the challenges of career and family?

What does it mean to plan for the future? I’ve begun to recognize that some of my perspective has been quite selfish. The freedom we have to plan our families sometimes allows us to simply push family away or give it a lower priority. In God’s economy, the family is precious. We should not forget that. We should not be quick to trade in the rich blessing of family in order to focus on status, money, education, or other things that often steal our attention.

I’m not trying to pass judgment on those who read this. Ultimately, these things are personal decisions between you and God and He will make it clear whether you are aimed in the right direction or not. There is not a one size fits all scriptural answer to how to seek God’s kingdom first. What I am saying is that we need to think critically and respond prayerfully when faced with an overwhelming amount of questions about school, work, and family.

Singles, it’s okay to marry later, but please do so with the right motive. Don’t put off marriage in an effort to extend the carefree life of college. I also know from personal experience that there are seasons where there is no one in your path to consider for marriage.

Couples, there is certainly wisdom in looking at goals and finances when thinking about having children. Still, remember that children are a heritage from the Lord and be open to His plans.

Christian singles can reflect a humble, servant-oriented lifestyle that supports the church and the family.

Christian families who live intentionally have a tremendous opportunity to witness to neighbors and coworkers in a world where self-promotion and self-exaltation seems to be part of the expression of living the American dream.


Resources on family

God, marriage, and family/ Andreas Kostenberger  BS 680 .M35 K67 2004

Family: a Christian perspective on the contemporary home/ Jack Balswick  BV 4526.2 .B357 2007

Conceiving parenthood/Amy Laura Hall  BV4526.3 .H35 2008

Fatal misconception/ Matthew Connelly  HB 883.5 .C65 2008

Busier than ever/Charles Darrah   HQ 536 .D324 2007

Valuing children/ Nancy Folbre  HQ 536 .F65 2008

Marriage: the dream that refuses to die/ Elizabeth Fox-Genovese  HQ 536 .F69 2008

Opting out?/ Pamela Stone  HQ 759.46 .S86 2007

True Woman ’08/ Nancy Leigh DeMoss  (CDs) BV 4527 .T784x 2008


Building strong families/ Dennis Rainey

Feminist mistake/ Mary Kassian

Valuing the family

Over the past few years, I’ve really changed my opinion on the value of family. As a high schooler and then a young adult, I was pretty strongly persuaded that getting a graduate education and establishing myself in a successful career needed to come first. Family was something that should come later on, once I had achieved many other accomplishments. Particularly as a woman, I felt that I needed to be in a hurry to get all of the really important things taken care of before I had children because once I did, life as I knew it, as I dreamed it would be, would in effect be over.

I’ve given some thought to how much society and our culture has influenced my views on family. It’s troubling now to recognize lies I have believed because they sounded reasonable. My focus was so wholly on myself and not at all on the things of God. So, it has been a slow process for me to reconsider what really matters in eternity. Job status, money, and worldly ‘success’ will fade. Investing in family, whether that is my own or in other families or largely, the church family, has a value that is not fleeting.